House Parties 

Another quiet night at SwindonWeb...

The idea of being the host to a night of frenzied entertainment, great company and being lauded as the party King or Queen of Swindon is very appealing. But take care.

Waking up in the morning to a house that looks like a bomb has hit it, mountains of washing up, cigarette burns in the axminster, the toilet blocked and half your CD's missing is quite a price to pay for inviting your mates round for a bit of fun.

SwindonWeb has lengthy experience of this, but still wants the town of Swindon to be the party capital of the south so we have put together our 10 golden rules for a stress free party experience.

1. Safeguard all breakables and valuables. Alcohol can cause no end of staggering individuals and souvenir hunters (many of which would never steal anything when sober) so take precautions

2. Put out plenty of ashtrays and then some more

3. Invite the neighbours for noise reasons

4. Sort out any possible parking problems

5. Put your name on your CD's

6. Use plastic glasses

7. Stock up on bin bags

8. If relevant, make sure your parents aren't coming home from holiday early

9. Get a big strapping mate to bounce at about 11.15pm

10. Enjoy yourself

Atmosphere

Did someone just put The Monkees on?!

Apart from the people, this is the key factor for a successful party night. The right atmosphere will soon encourage all those invited to relax, let their hair down and join in the fun. For this reason, extra loud music and your version of Blackpool illuminations might not quite set the right mood.

Lighting

The darker the better. Most people look better in the dark, so why not take advantage of it? Of course, have lights where alcohol is being administered, but keep the socialising areas relatively under control. The key is to offer people a range from medium to darkly lit areas. Black lights are always IN, while coloured bulbs can also work. Candles are out of the question because wax can be a little tricky to get off the carpet the following morning.

Music

Lots of choice here. Apart from hiring your own DJ, make sure you've got plenty of compilation albums in supply and keep it simple. Tempering the music with how drunk your guests are is very important so try and steer clear of 'Aga doo' and 'Hi Ho Silver Lining' until later on.

When your guests are arriving, have something popular and easygoing on in the background like an Austin Powers soundtrack or something similar. Wait for a bit and then throw the Bee Gees on. 'Night Fever' never fails to get them going.

And don't forget your stereo might not be designed for being on non-stop for 6 hours so make sure that the amplifier has got plenty of ventilation.

Oh yes, the neighbours. Don't forget to inform them of the impending noise explosion. Thumping music at 1.30am is never conducive to getting on with your people next door, especially if they start work at 6.00am.

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Alcohol

Anyone for another drink?

Get plenty of it in. Running dry is a nightmare not to behold so stocking up is always a good idea. Saying that, most of your guests will probably bring something with them but don't rely on it. Safeguard the expensive stuff though because you don't want every Tom, Dick & Harry helping themselves to the 25 year old malt you've been saving for a special occasion.

Organising a punch is also well worth doing but don't go overboard with mixing the spirits. Its amazing how drunk (and sick) people can get on punch, especially if they start uttering those dreaded words "'ere Maureen, this punch is lovely. It doesn't taste like alcohol at all, does it?!"

Food

Try not to let the party games get too wild!

Your food reputation is very important in the party rating scale. If the neighbours don't like the food then you could be heading for 1 out of 10 when they come to reviewing your entertaining skills.

Our advice is to, like the alcohol, get plenty of it in. Offer a good choice of tit bits like sausage rolls and peanuts with some rice dishes, pasta and something hot perhaps.

Don't skimp on the knives, forks and plates either. Buy some good quality disposable ones because no one hates anything more than trying to eat off a paper plate collapsing under the weight of two vol-au-vents and a chicken drum stick. Trying to cut into your ham salad with a white plastic knife that couldn't cut warm butter can be equally frustrating.

And that's it. Follow our tried and tested advice and you can't go wrong - and an invite wouldn't go amiss!